You can't make me!

I had a real eye opener last night after baseball.  It was the last game of the season, so we all headed into town for the team to have ice cream together. While sitting outside on the bench next to some other parents, we got to talking about our kids (gee what a shocker). Topics ranged from how crappy today's cartoons are, how to get kids to actually do what you tell them to and how to instill the value of a dollar.  

Growing up, I must have either done everything the first time my mom asked or I was just never asked to do anything at all.  I wish my memory was better, but I really don't remember any harping by my mother... but since I didn't even know how to clean a bathroom, boil water or wash dishes since I was in college or after... and the only memory I have of my bedroom is that of a disaster zone, I think I can probably extrapolate and come to the right conclusion .  Ben grew up on a farm where his mom and sister took care of all the 'inside' stuff (making beds, laundry and cleaning up after dinner) while he, his dad and brother did the chores outside.  That's just the way it was.  Ben was asked to do a lot of farm work (and he did) from a very young age, and I grew up being waited on... so we often find ourselves at odds with each other when trying to determine the appropriate responsibility level for the boys. We do however both agree that we want our kids to have a good work ethic and don't want them to be spoiled - ha.  EASIER SAID THAN DONE.

So, I'm sitting there last night listening to the man who poured our concrete foundation talk about his parenting philosophies, and I realize that he is a genius and that our kids have it wayyyyy too easy.   He's got two sons in Kindergarden and 2nd grade.  The 2nd grader is in Will's class, but since we started Will late in Kindergarten, Will's actually a year older.  While we were discussing how much all of our kids like Tom and Jerry, Concrete Guy says "Cartoons are okay in the morning while they eat breakfast, but after that the TV is off all day unless it's educational''.  Hmmm interesting.  He continued on from there while I took mental notes.  (um, could you repeat that part for me where your kid operates the skid loader?) Granted, these people live on a farm, but I could not believe the amount of help this 8-year old is able to offer to his Dad.  Chores (real ones) every morning and night, no matter what. This kid is asked to do 20 times what our boys are and probably dish out only a tenth of the whining.  When I found out that 8-year old helped his dad build fence two days in a row for EIGHT hours each LAST SUMMER, that was the topper.  All I could do was sit there stunned and think of my lazy, complaining and UNDER-WORKED crew of little men I have at home.  

When I got home and reported all of this to Ben, I of course got the 'I told you so' look while he started ticking off a list of jobs our kids could and should be doing.  Oh boy, did I open up a can of worms or what.  And excuse me sir - no they are not going to start mowing the lawn!!!!  Jeez.  What was I thinking even bringing up this topic?!  So, I've got some thinking to do on my own.  Right now, the biggest jobs our kids have are setting the table, feeding the cats and picking up toys.  And believe me, to get those things accomplished, I've got to tell them 564 times and listen to ten minutes of whining each time.  It's ridiculous!  I've tried the charts and stickers and points and all of that... it works for a while, but it's such a pain!  I might try money...  but shouldn't kids just DO what they're supposed to without being bribed?  *sigh*  I'm open for suggestions.