Is it 11:00 am yet?

I've been asking myself that question every ten minutes since 4:00 pm yesterday afternoon when I dropped Will off for a birthday-slumber party. (ugh. it's only 8:20 am)

When Will came home with the invitation last week, he was happy as a clam. He couldn't WAIT to attend his classmate's bowling and birthday party. Since I don't know a lot of families yet outside of sports, I started quizzing Will about the birthday boy. Both Will and Charlie attested that he was a nice boy. *good* After examining the class picture, I verified he appeared clean with combed hair. *good* I called and spoke to his mother on the phone - it went well. *good*, and after I agreed he could go, I also found out his mom volunteers in Will's classroom. *good*. So, I wasn't thinking too much about it until yesterday when I was following my GPS trying to find their house. We headed a few miles out of town where the houses started getting farther and farther apart - mainly a farming area. No biggie. Of course, none of the homesteads had house numbers on them, so as my GPS target came and went with no house in sight, I started to get a little worried. I kept creeping along, and as the nearest house started to come into view, DREAD filled my whole body. At first glance, I saw something like this:


Now, I'm exaggerating a little bit here, but the house to my left - the only house around my 'target' was clearly in disrepair. The siding was falling off, it desperately needed painting, Storm windows were missing, it had rusty chain link fences all over... it was bad. BAD. I kept driving... "That cannot be the house, that cannot be the house", I chanted to myself as I turned around to go by again.

On my second pass... I saw this:

Wonderful. There were like 20 cats perched all over the front of this place. Don't get me wrong, I like cats, but this was ridiculous. They were EVERYWHERE! omg omg omg omg. I pulled into the next driveway (a different house) and sat trying to collect my thoughts. I double checked my GPS, the party invitation, and surrounding area. It had to be it. Since I wasn't pulling into that place if I didn't have to, the only thing left to do was to call the mom - and hopefully she'd laugh at my bad direction following, and reroute me to a cute little house with a picket fence.

Nope.

The conversation went something like this:

ME: "Hi there, I think I'm lost..."
HER: "Are you driving a black van?"
ME: (omg omg omg omg) "Do you have a lot of cats outside?"
HER: "What?"
ME: "Do you have lots of cats outside?"
HER: (laughing) "Ohh hahaha I don't know - probably. It's the white house to your left, blue roof, red truck outside"

OMG.

I turned the van around and started heading towards catland. As I crept closer, I got the full view of the property, and this time... I saw THIS:


OMG! Seriously, what was I going to do???

I couldn't just keep driving - I was just talking to her on the phone! Aggggghhhh!

I pulled in the curvy driveway, wondering how the heck I was going to get back out of the driveway since both sides were barricaded with JUNK. I put the van in park and just sat there. Where's that magic wand when you need it? Think think think! As I started to re-quiz Will in the van (and continued to just sit there), two kids ran out of the house making a beeline for us. Think think think! And before I had time to say Jack Robinson, they'd opened our van doors from the outside (drat!), and started harping for Will to get out.

Will got out, and I trudged behind him carting the present. We approached the side door and walked through a porch area which was heaped top to bottom with junk on both sides. omg. And as we stepped into the kitchen, my heart sank as I saw the inside was no better than the out. Clutter EVERYWHERE. Heaps of clutter. I did a quick scan of my surroundings as I continued to think think think! I could see the sub-floor in parts of the kitchen where the old linoleum was coming off. There were two giant slobbering dogs running around, and one licked me. Blech! I communicated my dislike of licking dogs to the mom and tried to keep a pleasant smile plastered on my face. It was tough. I stalled. I nervously chatted about their bowling plans and reiterated that my cell phone number was in his bag if he needed me (PLEASE NEED ME WILL). She nodded and chatted and happily shoo'd me out the door.

AAAGGGGHHHHHH!

I got back in the van with a pounding heart. Questions flooded my head. Why didn't I do more research before agreeing he could go? They can still be a nice family, right? He'll be okay, right? Do I make up some weird excuse and go back and get him? Will he have fleas when he comes home?

Even though I called and spoke with Will last night while he was bowling, (and he sounded like he was having a great time) I didn't get the greatest sleep last night.

Is it 11:00 am yet?